This post is part of the Happy Wives Club Blog Tour which I’m so excited to be a part of along with hundreds of inspiring bloggers. To learn more and join us, click here

The goal of this It’s All About Love Blog Tour is to show that happy, healthy marriages are possible. Since I guide brides through exactly what they need to know to be their most beautiful {outside & in} on their wedding day plus help them lay a healthy foundation for their marriage, my hope is that writing this letter to my engaged self will help brides-to-be understand a little more of what to expect.

Although we each have our own stories and every marriage is different, I hope you find some inspiration and relatedness no matter what stage you are in, in your relationship.

Here goes….

Dear Engaged Self,

Where in the world do I begin? You are in for a beautiful, challenging, eye opening, wouldn’t have it any other way journey.

What you envision for marriage is not at all how it works. Actually, I know you don’t fully understand your expectations at this point, you simply are in love, but man do these expectations and needs get more apparent after you’re married.

Marriage is work. There’s no escaping this. You have to work on it every day. We are human, we get irritable and frustrated, and we oftentimes take it out on our most cherished loved ones.

You have to work on being your most loving, selfless self each day. Even when he forgets 5 out of the 5 things you asked him to help you with, even when he doesn’t rinse the dishes off first before putting them in the dishwasher {you’ll get annoyed about the dishes more than you really think you would!}, but mostly even when you feel he’s hurt or disappointed you.

You will learn different sides of him. Love these sides too.

Make it a priority to put his needs first, above your own. Because that’s what marriage is all about.

Communication. You hear all about how important communicating with your spouse is, but not until you’re in the marriage do you understand the true importance of this.

Understand that marriage is a mirror. It shows you who you really are. It shows you what areas you struggle with and need to improve most. Allow this to change you and grow you.

Life somehow gets more serious. But, you can do your part in making it less serious. Have more fun. Allow yourself to laugh more. A lot more. Enjoy the process. Don’t ever stop dating each other.

Don’t be afraid of alone time.

Sometimes he’s going to be the last person you want to see and in the same breath the only person you want to see. It’s a strange thing.

You will face challenges together which will oddly manifest into blessings.

Take care of your health. Healthy foods make you feel better, so does exercise. Enjoy cooking together and working out together more often.

“The more love you give, the more you’ll receive.” This is so true. Remember this quote from your mama.

Another quote to remember: “Choose to be kind over being right and you’ll be right every time.”

Pray through it all. Have faith. Your marriage will strengthen the closer you get to God. Make praying together a priority, it’s a powerful thing.

In the end, marriage is one of the biggest blessings you’ll ever receive. You’ll grow closer than you can imagine. And remember that no one escapes challenges and heartache in this world, don’t be the cause of that for each other. Hold on tight to each other, and be true partners. The two of you will be much stronger united rather than on your own.

To your next amazing chapter in life,                                                                                                                               Kara

Now, back to you…Thank you so much for reading!

I’d love to hear from you! In the comment section below, please tell me:

  1. Did any points in my letter really resonate with you?
  2. What are some things you would add to your own letter?

Marriage, love + letters,


Fawn Weaver, the founder of the Happy Wives Club wrote a book about the best marriage secrets the world has to offer. They say the book is like “Eat, Pray, Love meets The 5 Love Languages.” I say the book is inspiring. You can grab a copy here.


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